March was the month that wouldn’t end. It feels like we’ve been social distancing and sheltering-in-place for 3 months, not 4 weeks! But in reality, four weeks is quite a significant time period. After all, it takes 28 days to break a habit or learn a new one. When one is in the throes of quitting an unhealthy addiction to sugar, alcohol, smoking, etc., those days can tick by at an unmerciful, leisurely pace.
The past four weeks for me have been filled with ups and downs, lots of reflection and massive amounts of baking. On any given morning I might read a devotional and feel at peace, filled with optimism. The next day, the financial headlines could bring my spirits plummeting to a valley of self-pity and doubt that we will ever rise from these circumstances. I’ve learned that planning menus and trying out new recipes has really helped break up my days. Zoom and FaceTime calls with friends and family have become a joyful new avenue to relationships.
There are days that I cross not a single to-do off my list. Even having an entire day with no schedule, I am unable to accomplish a simple task that I know needs to be completed. But I have always known this about myself: too much time on my hands is not good structure for me. The busier I am, the more efficient I become, though some projects get shuttled off to the side, never to be accomplished. So I have successfully cleared some of those….cleaned out the pantry, freezer and refrigerator. Organized my desk, reduced clutter in a guest room, packed up my son’s memorabilia and put together bags of donation items. I’ve sorted recipes, planned several weeks of menus, almost finished all of the NYT Sunday crossword puzzles I had stacked up to finish on a lazy day.
And, oh yeah…did I mention that I’ve been baking? Homemade bread…Country White AND French. Black-out Chocolate Cake. Browned Butter Banana bread. Lemon-Blueberry muffins. Skillet Cornbread. Brown Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies. And also: homemade Naan bread and corn tortillas from scratch. So. Many. Carbs. (Please note that I didn’t mention the baked goods that went out the Butterfield Gourmet door: carrot cake, cinnamon rolls, sugar cookies, oat bran muffins)
Enough is enough. Four weeks have passed and I am declaring war on my carb addiction. Today I resolve to stop stress-eating. It’s funny but one of the past 28 day reflections has included a realization that I am not an emotional-eater…I don’t binge when I’m sad, melancholy, angry, happy or depressed. I do eat when I’m nervous or anxious about an upcoming event or an unknown future. But because I can take control of this one part of my life, I’m committing to this change.
Well, let’s just say I am refusing to scarf down pastries to calm my nerves. If I commit to walking an extra 30 minutes (the best stress reliever) then I will allow myself a piece of coffee cake. Or a slice of pie. 😉
